Saturday, May 7, 2011

Friday Night Funnys!!

I don't think anyone really wants to be an Umpire in baseball.  You think you have a thick skin, you think you know the rules of the game, you train and practice to be good. Nothing prepares you for being followed to your car by a screaming group of really fat moms.  Comments like, "Worse umpire I have ever seen", "They shouldn't pay him", and other less family friendly comments.   REALLY????

I knew it was going to be a tough night, when the team behind by 8 runs started to come back. The manager of the then winning team ran out of his 2 stud pitchers. The manager had to put in a boy who threw batting practice, and the other team responded in kind. The team coming from behind was hitting every strike, and when they weren't hitting they were walking people. So now the visitors team was ahead by 2,  a 10 run inning.  Here is when it gets interesting.

2 great calls for the umpire ended the game.  A infield pop up with a runner on first.  1st basemen catches the ball and steps on first with runner about 3 inches off the base.  DOUBLE PLAY.  O. U. C. H. Next batter hits a double. 2 out man on second.  Batter hits a slow shot to short.  Runner on second runs over the shortstop while he is making a play on the ball.  Runner Interference, runner is out.  3 outs.  Good calls, both were correct, but both were controversial.  (To the FAT moms at least. )

Now I don't really mean to demean heavy people.  But the 3 woman who followed me the 350 feet to where my truck was parked intimidated the hell out me.  One of them said, "Why don't you just admit you had a bad night?"  I turned to her and said, "When you admit you don't know the rules of baseball!"  That got them all pissed off more.  I removed my gear with my back turned to them.  The were blasting me. "Look, it figures he has a truck." "He probably thinks those Harley emblems make him tough." 

I get in the drivers seat start the truck and head home. I rolled the window down and said to the group, "See you tomorrow, ladies!"


  1. Did you have a gun on your person or in your pick-up?

  2. Ankle holster fits nicely under the grey slacks and right next to the shin guards. Thanks for asking.
    Think of all those conflicts I have had behind the plate, coaches charging out at me to argue a call. Never felt threatened and never felt the need to draw my weapon.