Saturday, July 9, 2011

Rant # 3,657,165 on traffic and rude people who drive.

Summer is usually a good time for traffic in my area. People are vacationing and there are less cars on the road! My morning commute of 17 miles gets 5 minutes cut of it and it is far more relaxing. This is not to say that there are not a few serious idiots on the road. I am so use to seeing the clueless folks with a cell phone pasted to their heads that hardly bothers me anymore. So I look for more devilish driving habits that people employ to get that one car advantage on the roadways.
Let me take you back to last Wednesday for a moment. I am dropping my #3 and #4 sons off at their day camp. I drop them off and I exit the facility as I normally do. At the exit there is a traffic light, and there is 2 lanes. One that is straight and right turn, the one I am in is straight only. I picked this lane so others behind me can make the right on red if they choose. So a guy in a Land Rover pulls up to my right and guess what, he is going straight, too.  He screws up the 3 people behind him that want to turn right. I notice he is bumping the gas pedal which clues me to the fact that he is going to jump at the green and beat me to the merge. Normally I let asshats like this one go, since it really isn't that important, right?  But for some reason I feel like I have to teach this ignorant butthead that his little Land Rover ain't going to beat my BIG 8 Chevy Truck to the merge. So without ever looking over at him, I switch my left foot onto the brake and press lightly down on the gas with my right foot. My only site line is on the traffic light in front of me. So now I am engaged to beat this peckerwood th 150 feet to the merge. WHY you might ask?  He deserved it, truly.  So the light turns green and I see the front of his Land Rover lurch forward, as I let the left foot off the brake and let the Chevy torque kick his imported Land Rovers ass to the merge. I watched his face as I blew his door off, of course viewing him in my rear view mirror, he was caught by surprise.  His plan had failed, he wasn't clever enough.  OK, maybe I enjoyed it to much, but he deserved it. Ignorant asshat, buttheaded, peckerwoods should be occasionally put in their place, I think there should be a law or something.

Have you had any fun driving lately that you need to share? 


  1. OH yeah... Coming back from Dulles airport today as a matter of fact... They have a 2 down to 1 merge due to roadwork, and as usual people are trying to get over on the cars that are already in the correct lane (like me)... Idjit in a Mercedes 2 seater decides he's going to get in front of me and gets right up on my right door and keeps pushing as the lane narrows. Now I'm in a Yukon, and he's literally so close to me I can't see him but I just kept going. I hear his horn blare, and I keep going... He's FORCED to fall in behind me, and about 1/2 mile later, it breaks back out to two lanes. He jumps around me, shaking his fist, tries to brake check me, and never realizes there is a cop sitting in the median watching the whole thing... Needless to say, he gets pulled and I keep on going after giving the LEO a thumbs up :-) Revenge is ALSO best served hot and nasty :-)

  2. "Needless to say, he gets pulled and I keep on going after giving the LEO a thumbs up."

    Proof in my world that there is a God!! Great story!!